UnSpace

A recent article on religion in New Scientist prompted a spate of letters to the editor. I'm at a disadvantage, because I haven't gotten to the issue with the religion article in it yet. But I was astonished by a comment by Gary Betcherman of London (U.K.):

If I don't exist, I'd like to know. I'm funny that way.

Game programmers often refer to the game as a "world" or a "universe." As programmers, they have amazing powers: they can stop the game, go in, and edit absolutely anything. Got a character that died? Resurrecting the character is trivial. Feed 5000+ game characters with a couple loaves and fishes? Simple! Have a character walk on water? Why stop at water? The character can walk on air for all that!

In other words, a game programmer has all the powers one might attribute to God, with the exception of omnisciently knowing the future.

Is the universe a simulation on God's computer? A simulation running on something that we can't even comprehend? What if it's a simulation inside God's mind?^{1 2 3}

If Spinoza has proven that God cannot exist both outside and inside the universe, then clearly, game programmers cannot exist.

There are two flaws in my argument, of course. One would be that AI is impossible on a computer. From what I did read of Spinoza, though, he did not accept Descartes' dualism and thus would argue that AI must be possible. Of course, I could also argue a "Matrix-like" simulation, so in any case, I can dispense with that argument summarily.

The second flaw is that I wasn't a good enough game programmer, and that no one is. The game programmers will only cease to exist when they get good enough.

To which I say "Thank goodness game programming was a passing phase for me!"

Can anyone fill me in on Spinoza's argument, or did Mr. Betcherman simply doze during his freshman philosophy class?

1. Imagine a Beowulf cluster of those computers! Sorry — that's an obligatory Slashdot reader joke. [back]
2. It's worth noting that, while such a simulation inside God's mind would mean everything was made up of God at some level, it wouldn't be pantheisitic. The universe of the game would be an emergent property and thus trees, cars, and people would not be God. [back]
3. I'm not saying this is how the universe is; I'm merely pointing out one possible way that God could obviously exist and interact with our universe. There are many more and, as a student of relativity, quantum mechanics, and brane theory, I could point out that there are many other possibilities as well! [back]

I've made it through about 1: 30 p.m. on "24: The Game." That's 7 levels so far, and I got to thinking: I should be playing "24: The Game: The Drinking Game." Note: This post is spoiler free. Sort of. I am pointing out that you can guess that certain events will transpire! But if I don't tell you what those events are and I don't tell you when they happen, that's not a spoiler, is it?

Drinking games are games when you take a drink (we'll all assume non-alcoholic, because we don't want to promote intoxication) when something cliche' or typical occurs. For example, if you're watching "Star Trek," take a drink every time a red shirt dies. No wonder, since red makes the security guards stick out like sore thumbs! For Star Trek: The Next Generation, take a drink every time someone shoots at the Enterprise and Deanna Troi says "I sense hostility." Thank goodness they've got an empath. For Mannix, take a drink every time Joe gets hit on the head. Joe should have had an IQ of 50 and a nasty case of Trauma-Induced Parkinsons' by the end of the first season. For Babylon 5, take a drink every time something "goes to hell." In Babylon 5, it does so on schedule. For the Bible, every time a patriarch passes his wife off as his sister, take a drink. It never works, but everyone always does it. Sigh.

That sort of thing.

If you're a fan of "24″ then you know that certain events have to happen. There are drinking games out there based on taking a shot when Jack yells "We don't have time!" As I was playing the 1300-1400 hour, it hit me. I should be keeping track of all the times I'd have to take a drink.

I may have to go back and blog all the times I need to take a drink.

Now where's my "24″ drinking game list…¹

1. I wonder if some being, somewhere, has to take a drink every time I say "Now where's my [insert file name]." [back]

The following is a summary of the plot of the second hour of "24: The Game" for those who do not have a Playstation 2.

If you want to read the previous hour's review, you can read it here.

Really, this game is easy. A borrowed, rented or used copy of this game and a friends PS2 will have you playing it in no time. I highly recommend you play the game yourself. But if you really aren't into games and don't want the chance to experience "24″ as a 3rd person shooter, here's the summary of the second hour of "24: The Game."

You'll notice I left out a lot of the action:

Chase shoots nameless goon dead.
Chase finds body armor.
Chase shoots three nameless goon dead.
Chase skips driving the Jeep because I still suck at driving in this game.
Chase kills 4 more nameless goons.
Chase runs around a lot.
Chase kills 2 nameless goons.
Chase keeps walking into a wall because I mixed up the controls.

I think you can see why I'm briefly summarizing the action sequences. If you really want to know, go get the game. I'm not doing a "walk through." If you want to know that much detail, go get a PS2 and the game. Really, it's fun!

The body count is definitely higher than on the TV "24." This game is rated "M" and deserves it.

I have hidden this summary behind the "Read the rest of this entry" to protect readers who do not wish to know the plot. Click on that phrase to see my summary.

Read the rest of this entry »

The following is a summary of the plot of the first hour of "24: The Game" for those who do not have a Playstation 2.

I highly recommend this game, even if most reviews claim it's too easy. Some fans of Jack Bauer might well run out and buy this game and a used Playstation 2. Because the gameplay is easy, this is a good game for inexperienced gamers to learn on.

If you're not into games, you can at least find out what happened between season 2 and 3 during this 24 hours in Jack's life. I'll try to summarize as best I can, which means I've gone back and played the first hour several times, pausing to take notes. I hope you appreciate this. As long as the game stays easy, I believe I can figure it out and finish it. You will miss the full effect of the game — the graphics are excellent and many of the actors are doing their character's voices.

This review covers the first hour, from 0600 to 0700 hours.

Please note: this is not a game walkthrough.

I have hidden this summary behind the "Read the rest of this entry" to protect readers who do not wish to know the plot. Click on that phrase to see my summary.

Read the rest of this entry »

I picked up the last copy of "24: The Game" at my favorite gaming store. Other stores didn't have it. All I knew of the game was what I'd seen on the commercials during "24." After loading it into the Playstation 2, Nancy came in the room. She wanted to watch! As it turned out, she wanted to do more than watch.

I'm the fan of "24″ in the household. Nancy, though, has started sitting next to me when it's on. She works her puzzle books during the show, although occasionally, she'll comment on something. She's watching it as much as she can tolerate. I have to pace during the show, so I can't complain.

The advertisement for "24: The Game" came on "24″ several times. Nancy kept asking me if I was going to get it. I honestly wasn't interested, but with her asking so often, eventually the advertising got through to me. I still hadn't caught on to what was going on with my wife.

"24: The Game" starts out between 6 and 7 a.m. between season 2 and 3. Jack's at the docks, and on one of the ships is Ricin the terrorists intend to dump into the water. Someone trips an alarm,¹ and things go to crap. Jack leads the assault on the boat.

The game's a fairly standard third person shooter. Jack Bauer looks amazingly like Kiefer Sutherland, which he ought to! This first hour takes you through a tutorial on game play. Movement is with the Left joystick, camera with the right like most games. left arrows get you weapons and things you're carrying. The right buttons control hiding, frisking, knocking people out, and that sort of stuff. L1 aims, R1 shoots. The aim is general and controlled with the right joystick — you can get head shots or disarm people if you're good enough. I'm not.

In typical "24″ fashion, the bodies accumulate. Surprisingly, this doesn't bother me yet. Usually, I'm thinking about the wives, children, parents and friends left behind. The game is rated M, for 17+. I've not seen any blood, but bodies don't evaporate, either. People don't die instantly. You aren't supposed to kill everyone. When someone surrenders, you're supposed to restrain them. I've managed to kill about half of them outright and the other half I've killed accidentally after restraining them. This shouldn't be for anyone under 17.

The game is dark. What I wouldn't give for a flashlight. I may crank the bright control on the TV to see if it helps. But I don't think it will. I'm complaining about dark rooms being dark. The game is realistic as one can expect from the Playstation 2. "Tony Hawk: American Wasteland" might have a slightly better appearance, although the game physics are whack. You get that much air on a skateboard, you gonna die!

I'd die at about the same rate in either the "Tony Hawk: American Wasteland" or "24: The Game" if it were real life.

Have I ever mentioned that I suck at video games?

Nancy's sitting there watching. She actually thanked me for waiting until she was around before I played. I'm not the only "24″ fan in the house, am I? She complained that I didn't look around enough. I'm thinking that I had to hurry up: the clock is ticking.

Actually, it's not. The game is a "go into a room, clear the room, find what you can, advance to the next room" type game. The clock only ticks when you enter the last room. It's a variation on a "boss" that winds up ending with a "defuse the bomb" puzzle. I had no idea what I was doing and blew up the Ricin bomb.

I failed in the mission. Nancy asked to have the controls. She's never played Playstation 2 games before. The controls are amazingly standard, and what I seem to know instinctively from playing Tony Hawk she had to learn. The camera gave her some trouble at times, as did getting boxed in by non-player characters (NPCs).

On the other hand, she found the body armor. She found lots of stuff. She was kicking dead bodies around and finding ammo and guns and health packs (yeah, it uses the health pack system) that I never saw. Stuff you want to pick up flashes. I didn't notice that, but Nancy homed in on it immediately.

She didn't quite get to the bomb in time. Once she learns to maneuver, she's going to kick my butt. I served as spotter for her by sitting close to the TV, but I'm not sure it was necessary.

We get along famously, but working together was surprisingly tricky. We got a little frustrated at times, especially when I'd point out something she'd already noticed or when she'd get lost with the camera.

At times, the screen splits, just like in "24." The effect gives you a better idea of what you're doing, once you realize the image is of the same location with a different angle. At least that's how it is so far.

We still haven't finished the first hour.We could only take a couple hours of it and we had to quit. Eating stuffed shells with spaghetti sauce wasn't a good idea for me. I'll have to limit my time on this game: my stomach isn't feeling too great right now.

If there's fewer posts on this blog, it's because Nancy and I are leaning on some terrorist or ready to throw the controller through the TV screen.

We had fun, and we expect to continue to have fun with "24: The Game." I'm not sure who'll be at the controls, but I'm not sure that matters!

1. Yeah, it's one of those visible laser beams: without tremendous smoke, have you ever seen a laser beam? Of course not, unless it's shining you right in the eye, which isn't a good idea. Thus endeth complaint number 5 in the "Top 10 Things TV Gets Wrong" physics lesson. [back]