I've been on a new anti-depressant for two weeks.
Depression comes in two forms: typical and atypical. Typical, in addition to the other symptoms, is associated with weight loss. Atypical, in addition to other symptoms, is associated with weight gain. In one of "those" occurrences in science, atypical depression is far more common than typical. Alas, I've got atypical.
Most anti-depressants make you want to eat too much. The problem is severe enough that doctors are supposed to watch patients on antidepressants to make sure they don't become diabetic. Just to make things even happier, even after weight, exercise levels, and everything else is accounted for, a new study shows that depression is a risk factor for diabetes in and of itself. Nice little vicious circle, huh? I'm a diabetic, for those of you who haven't been following along playing the home game.
Well, the anti-depressants would work on me for a while and then stop. So, all the anti-depressants were doing was resulting in mighty expensive urine and causing me to gain weight — a bad thing for diabetics, since weight gain makes diabetes worse. The last time I went into the doctor I told him "Look, nothing is working. Why don't we try Bupropion?" This isn't an anti-depressant that should work on me, but it causes weight loss. It also has "fewer sexual side effects." I'm sure you've seen the commercial. Even if Bupropion did nothing for my depression, I'd take the weight loss and probably be happier overall. Not dying tends to make me happier. I'm weird that way. The psychiatrist shrugged and wrote the script. It was one of those cynical "risk benefit" trade-off times medicine and "House, MD" are so fond of.
Fast forward two weeks. Yesterday was the first day I took two pills of Bupropion. After the first pill, my mouth went dry and my eyes went…wrong. Why the doctor had to ramp up the dosage seemed apparent. Then I tried to get to sleep at 11 o'clock. Usually, I climb into bed, read about a page of a book and have trouble putting the book down before I fall asleep. The book wasn't that interesting, so I put it down after a chapter and tried to force sleep. Bzzzz! Wrong answer. Finally around 3:30 a.m., I fell asleep — and then woke up at 6:30 a.m. so I could go to the church and finish printing the church newsletter so the volunteers could fold and label it. The printer broke yesterday, so we didn't finish printing it in time.
By noon, the newsletter was printed, folded, labeled, sorted into the bulk mail groups, taken to the North Side and mailed at the bulk mail facility. I skipped coffee, because I didn't need it. Let me take that back. I didn't dare drink coffee.
Well, the newsletter was done a day early, despite my setting an ambitious time schedule for myself. It was done well enough, although I can tell you about 300 things that are wrong with it. But I don't look at the newsletter and start mumbling how "All I can do is crank out crap." There was no drama, no major crisis. I got the newsletter finished early. Changing the saddle staple cartridges was about as dangerous as it got. Granted, if I were to break the new Cannon networked copier, there would be some excitement, but the copier walks you through changing the cartridges! Don't tell anyone the copier explains how to fix itself. They think I'm some sort of genius. It's all P.R.!
I'm down a pound, with no effort. Not much, but it's a start.
I don't feel depressed, but that happens with every anti-depressant at the start. Ask me mid- to late August how I'm feeling and we'll see how well Bupropion is working. That's one of the three "crashes" of the year, up there with Christmas and taxes. I wish I'd started the Bupropion before taxes. Now there was some drama!
For right now, I'll take it. I do hope I get more than three hours of sleep tonight. I don't feel sleepy, but I do feel something that feels like an all-nighter, only without the lack of sleep.
So tell me. If obesity is a moral problem, then why does diabetes cause weight gain? If it's a question of will, how could I run three marathons and not lose any weight? Do most anti-depressants make me less of a moral person? Does Bupropion make me more moral?
Well, that last one is a hope. One pound lost does not a weight loss program make; it's only a start.