UnSpace

How does a prospective astronaut wind up flopping all over a basketball court drunk?

That was the one aspect of the story that didn't make sense to me. The Stanford Daily Online has an article about the selection process for the new Tree mascot that explains everything. Please read the article. You won't believe me if I tell you. But as far as Erin Lashnits, read how the selection process has been "improved":

These reforms are meant to encourage the future Tree to be less dependent on alcohol, he added.

“If you’re the Tree you don’t have to be a drunk, you don’t have to be an alcoholic,” Schell continues. “We’re looking for somebody who can do all that fun crazy stuff without having to be drunk.”

The Band stresses fact that candidates do not necessarily need to possess a complete disregard for self-preservation.

Notice that the goal is to make future Trees "less dependent" on alcohol: not independent…just less dependent.

Sigh.

The two teenagers knew this would be the last time they saw each other.

This was the next-to-last Westinghouse Science Lecture, and Nancy would have to miss the final one. She and Rob met back in January, and in the following weeks there were numerous phone calls and too few Saturday morning science lectures.

The two sat next to each other in the lecture hall seating. Nancy said something silly and Rob attempted to tickle her. She blocked him with her arm, resting her hand on the seat of her chair. Rob put his hand on his seat in immitation. His hand bumped up against Nancy's hand. She had no intention of moving her hand out of the road, and neither did he. They sat there this way for a number of minutes.

Nancy twitched a finger. Rob did the same thing. The next thing either of them knew, they were holding hands. Neither had expected this, but both had been hoping for it. Nancy noticed that Rob's breathing was strained. Some of that was an attempt to recover from the fear that he might get slapped down, but mostly it was because he found himself holding hands with a very beautiful woman.

He couldn't believe this was happening. If he moved the wrong way or said the wrong thing, he feared the soap-bubble illusion would pop. She, on the other hand, wanted this more than anything and had no intention of letting go.

The lecture was over too soon. They had to give up holding hands as they collected their things and set off for the lunch room. Rob ate the cheese crackers and pop provided by Westinghouse. Nancy had a bacon sandwich to eat before she headed off to work. She placed the sandwich on the table and began to smash it with her fist. This was her family tradition. John, Tom, and the other guys from Rob's high school stared in disbelief. Some of the disbelief centered on the sandwich smashing, but mostly they were shocked that Rob had found a young lady at the lecture. They had been the ones coming to the lecture to pick up intelligent, good looking women. When they signed up, Rob was simply interested in the lecture, yet he was the only one to find a friend and more.

Lunch was over. The two held hands again and said goodbye. Nancy said something about never seeing each other again. Rob said "That doesn't have to happen." This was a new thought to Nancy. She never expected someone to encourage her like that, never expected that someone would make the effort.

They didn't kiss goodbye.

Neither of them knew that, years later, this would be referred to as their "first date."

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life from your husband.

On the same night I managed to photograph Mercury and Orion, I caught the Pleiades and the planet Mars. I pushed the bright and contrast corrections very hard on this photograph, so it's very grainy, but even the faint bluish smudges are stars from the Pleiades!

The Pleiades and Mars

Clicking on the phot brings up a larger and better version of this image.

I compared this image to a series of star charts. This image matches up exactly with the 6.0 magnitude star chart. I copied the star chart into Corel Photo Paint X, scaled it and overlayed it on this photograph — the stars match up exactly! I just wish I could figure out how to make the white areas of the star chart clear so that I could overlay just the dark circles (perhaps changed to a color to make them stand out. Some day, I really should read the instructions.

The planet Mars is the very bright object to the left.

How Many Sisters Are there?

The Pleiades are also known as the "Seven Sisters." How many stars one can see will vary based on how good the "seeing" is on a particular night and how good one's eyes are. Based on the previously mentioned series of star charts, one can see 6, 10/11¹ or 12 stars. The famous astronmer Kepler, quoted numbers up to 14. Why are they then called the "Seven Sisters" in cultures all over the Earth? Both the Greeks and the Iroquois Indians refer to them as the "Seven Sisters." The Iroquois, though were concerned that they could only see six, and believed that one had fallen back to Earth! Some authorities claim that "seven is the perfect number" to humans, but I personally like the idea that one of the stars is variable and has dimmed in human memory.²

A Cluster of Young Stars

There are actually about 500 stars in this open globular cluster. The cluster is 425 light-years away and is only 100 million years old. This would have been during the Cretaceous period on Earth. At that time, the continents had their "modern" shape but weren't in the correct positions, there were no ice caps due to global warming, and dinosaurs were still roaming the Earth. The stars are blue-white because they burn so hot.

The Pleiades and the Bible

The Pleiades appear three times in the Old Testament:

He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion,
the Pleiades and the constellations of the south… (Job 9:9, NIV)

"Can you bind the beautiful (twinkling) Pleiades?
Can you loose the cords of Orion?" (Job 38:31, NIV)

…He who made the Pleiades and Orion,
who turns blackness into dawn
and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
and pours them out over the face of the land—
the LORD is his name… (Amos 5:8)

The NIV is somewhat misleading here. "Ayish" is translated "the Bear" but may mean "lion" and may or may not refer to Ursa Major. "Kesil" is literally "Fool." The Hebrews seemed to think of Kesil as a "big, dumb giant." The word translated as "Pleiades" is "Kimah" which literally means "heap." It's a good description of the Pleiades, and the word "Kimah" harkens back to a brood of chicks. Even these identifications are not universally agreed upon. The reference to binding the Pleiades and loosening the cords of Orion clearly refers to some tale that has been lost to history. Because Orion and the Pleiades are near each other in the sky, I do believe these identifications are correct.

The "seven stars" mentioned in Revelation would have brought the Pleiades to the minds of John's audience:

In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. (Revelation 1:16, NIV)

It's interesting to speculate what someone attempting to take the Bible overly literally would make of the 6 (not 7) stars of the Pleiades actually being 500 or so stars. Should someone start slapping stickers on high school astronomy texts, I'll have to take the blame, won't I?

1. Whether one sees 10 or 11 depends on the ability to separate two close stars [back]
2. Both The Great Bear and Pleiades are referred to in similar ways throughout the world. Many hold that this means they are ancient constellations (or would the Pleiades be an asterism?), dating from far before recorded history. Given that Ursa Major looks nothing like a bear, I believe this theory to be correct. If you ask me, none of the constellations look like what they're called. [back]

Anyone can find the best; I found the worst! Here's the tale of my invention of the Bogo Sort.

Shelley at Burningbird has an interesting story about the languages she has learned to program in. At one point she relates an interview:

We ended up using Pascal for other classes, such as the study of algorithms and relational data structures. Yes, I believe I learned how to do the Bubble Sort with Pascal. This was, what, a quarter century ago, yet Google and Yahoo and other companies still ask potential employees how they would do something like a Bubble Sort.

You know what I would answer if asked this in an interview? Easy:

sort();

Then I would ask the interviewers could we please now get to the real questions?

This reminds me of a particular sort I invented, the "Bogo Sort."

For those of you who don't program, let me explain that there are various ways of sorting items. An amazing amount of theory has gone into finding the best way to sort a list of items.

My insight into the whole topic was to ask what the worst possible way to sort items was. The result was the "Bogo Sort." The Bogo Sort could, theoretically, sort the list. But there was a finite chance it might never get a list of items sorted!

Let's say you have a list of "x" number of items. The Bogo Sort exchanges the first item with another item in the list chosen at random. Next, the Bogo Sort checks to see if the list is sorted. If it is, the Bogo Sort terminates successfully. Unfortunately, the Bogo Sort is more likely to find that the list isn't yet sorted, in which case it starts over.

Given enough time, the Bogo Sort will sort a list. Unfortunately, "enough time" might be orders of magnitude than the age of the universe, even for amazingly small values of "x." No one could prove it mathematically, but several friends believe this would be the longest running sort where the program wasn't actively trying to unsort things!

Of course, there is a small, finite probability that the Bogo Sort might terminate in the least possible number of steps. That's terribly unlikely, but it is possible.

Now you know the story of the Bogo Sort. I hope everyone realizes that, since this is the worst possible working sort, it shouldn't ever be used!

I just got a hardback copy of "Earth X" that I've been reading. I'm exhausted. So while I'm recovering, here's some quick links to peruse. I hope you enjoy them!

• Nancy's been having fun with virtual tourist. For example, did you know that Nelson Mandela's first name is "Rolihlahla," which means "troublemaker"? Another article, that Nancy found unusual and called to my attention is one that demonstrates the colors of the South African flag. Note: This might not be safe for work, depending on where you work.
• Why are the Steelers, Pirates, Penguins, and late, lamented Spirit black and gold? The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette explains that it's all about crests! Well, that and pollution…
• I was suspicious of the accounts given of police threatening those at the Gretna bridge. There seems to be more and more confirmation of the basics of the story. The Gretna police claim they were protecting an overwhelmed town and directing people toward help. The folks in Gretna seem to side with their police. I'm not sure the Federal investigation will do the same.
• Some folks were surprised that I would think of Chuck Colson's rude outburst as threatening. I contend that any extreme behavior will make me suspicious. A church in Michigan found out the hard way why one needs to be cautious.
• Can anyone tell me if this is really the sort of English Chaucer wrote (minus words like telephone and XBOX CCCLX? I can read it better than I ought, which makes it suspect. Worst thing is, I had fun reading it.
• Chimeric mice grew human prostates in Australia, giving scientists a test-bed to study treatments for prostate. If George W. Bush has his way, this research would not be permitted in the USA.
• Strangely enough, a virus related to a virus found in mice is found in human prostate cancers. I suppose human prostates grown in mice will make this easy to study!
• The Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter will have a spectacular orbital entry for Mars. Unfortunately, there's nothing there that can watch it. Still, if the orbiter survives, we get another great research tool in orbit around Mars! Coming to a red planet near you on March 10th.
• I need to make a sign saying "You are here!" We're learning a lot about our place in the galaxy. We're actually living in prime real estate, not the so-called "backwater" that so many science fiction stories place us in.
• Only a party opposed to big government could have created the malfunctioning behemoth called "The Department of Homeland Security."
• There's nothing on the "flyby results page" from the latest Titan pass of Cassini. One of the objectives was to pass so close to the planet the probe could map the planet's interior based on orbital deformations caused by gravity. Is there liquid under the rock? This (and 3 more passes) should give us a treasure-trove of info on this mysterious moon.
• The SF author Octavia Butler left us too soon. It's hard to believe no one thought you could set an SF novel in the pre-war south. I guess you have to wait for the Civil War for it to be SF. Yeesh.
• A Man Without Letters published a letter on torture from a former CIA agent that is profound. Yes, a lot of it's what I've been saying, but this guy's got the "street cred" in international espionage that I don't have. Check it out.
• Is that guy in the photo Zahi Hawass, the mysterious spectre of Ancient Egyptology? I joke about him being a publicity hound. If it's over 100 years old, Hawass is in the photo! But if this guy worked for NASA, I'd be typing this from orbit around Titan. The statues and other objects they've found recently are amazing. Ramses II never looked so good. Really. You know the guy that carved this statue flattered the Pharoah. Who wants to wind up a mummy before their time?
• The Medical Anti-Shock Garment was a nightmare for paramedics. Did it save lives this week or kill people? Once, I had two doctors stand there screaming at me, one for not putting the MAST on the patient and the other because I saved the patient's life by not putting the MAST on the patient. The second doctor had to scream to be heard over the first. Eventually, they started screaming at each other, so I walked away. I never did find out if I did the right thing, but I didn't get fired, either. So when they say that the Non-pneumatic Anti-Shock Garment "could help save the lives of thousands of women in poor countries who die each year during childbirth" pardon me if I check the journals next week to see what they're saying.
• Have I ever mentioned that "Scrubs" is the most realistic medical show on TV? Complete with hallucinations and singing barber shop quartets?
• According to the Post Gazette, "Pittsburgh Mayor Bob O'Connor and state fiscal overseers are pounding out a budget that would increase police and Fire Bureau allocations." Now, am I simply being cynical, or does this translate into "The paramedics are getting screwed again?"
• Also in the Post Gazette, "New Pa. justice still excited by the law." Give them time, I'm sure they'll turn her into a cynical hopless shell. Just kidding! I hope…
• According to the Wall Street Journal, "Rumors of Blogs' Demise Are Exaggerated, But a Lot Less Obsession Would Be Healthy." The WSJ groks it, although I bet less than 50% of their editors would recognize the word "grok."
• Yesterday, I could not remember why I wanted to get up before sunrise. Oh yeah. I forgot — there's a new comet!
• According to a friend who knows far more about astrophotography than I, "Your photography [the pictures posted yesterday, today, and tomorrow] is about as good as one can get with that equipment from Pittsburgh skies. Congrats. Thanks for sharing them." I actually did a sloppy job. Does that mean a) working harder will produce better photos? b) why bother working harder because the photos will be the same? or c) I really got to go some place with decent seeing conditions! or d) $10,000 should cover the next equipment purchase. I'm guessing (a) and (c).

After taking photos of Mercury yesterday, I happened to look up. Orion was shining clear in the sky despite the school lights. Could I get a picture of the constellation?

Orion the Hunter

The 3008 by 2000 pixel image is available if you click on the link. When it appears in your browser, it will still be small, but your browser will permit you to view the entire image, either by clicking on the enlarge icon in IE or by clicking on the image in Firefox. Still, hold off a bit while I comment on what you're seeing. Everything I'm talking about can be seen in the above picture.

There are a lot of "smudges in the image. They are stars or nebulae! The camera picked up far more than I could. Immediately, you'll notice that two stars are very red — one that's toward the middle and one that's toward the upper right.

The middling red star is Betelgeuse. The name is pronounced "Beetle Juice," like in the movie. In Arabic, it means "armpit." That star is the armpit of Orion. Y'all are so happy to learn that, aren't you? It's a red supergiant and it's one of the easiest stars to see in the constellation of Orion, although Rigel is brighter. Betelgeuse is ~426 light years away.

The other red star is Adelbaran, which means "The Follower." Aldebaran follows the Pleiades. I got an interesting picture of the Pleiades with a story about Aldebaran and Mars that I'll post tomorrow night. Aldebaran has run out of hydrogen and is now fusing helium. The star is ~65 light years away.

If you look at the "belt of Orion," you'll see three obvious stars. The bottom star is actually two stars — you can see that clearly in the enlarged image. Above that is M42 (the Orion nebula), and above that is M43 (De Mairan's Nebula, actually part of the same cloud as the Orion nebula; the separation is caused by dust).

Rigel is the foot on your right, and it's name comes from the Arabic for "the left foot of the Central One." It's the 7th brightest star in the sky, and somewhat variable. It's the beta star in Orion, although it's usually brighter than Betelgeuse. Measuring Rigel's distance has proven difficult: it's somewhere between 700 and 900 light years away.

Sirius (the dog star) is part of the constellation Canis Major that follows Orion around as a good dog should! It's the brightest star in the picture, to your left of Orion and down a little bit. Only 8.7 light years away, it's name means "scorcher." It's at its best in the summer. When we speak of the "dog days of summer," it's a reference to this star and its constellation.

If you want to compare my photo to a map of the sky, you could use the Wiki image.

In playing around with my PDA star chart, I've decided that the unenlarged image shows stars to about Magnitude 4, and if you enlarge it, you can see stars to about Magnitude 5. I'm stunned that I got anything anywhere near this good with a simple camera and tripod. I could see Mag 3 stars at best. You'll notice there's a red tinge to the sky. That's the bright school lights hitting the moisture in the air. Seeing wasn't the greatest, and the wind moved the tripod.

If this is the kind of photograph I can get on a windy day with only moderate seeing, I can't wait to see what I can do on a decent day.

Like we ever get those in Pittsburgh. Sigh. I wonder if I could talk Nancy into a trip back to the north face of the Grand Canyon where we went on our honeymoon?

Cirrus the African Grey Parrot is talking more and more. Unfortunately, my attempts to turn her behavior into true conversation are failing.

Cirrus learned quickly that the words "Come here!" would get us to come to her cage. We would go over to her cage and say "Here I am!" or ask "What does that good birdie want?" She learned to say "Here I am!" We were more disturbed when the "Come here!" began to morph into "Come herewa!" Finally, she came out with "What does that good birdie want?"

The first time she said that, she immediately got a peanut. Now, I know that this is a little out of synch. The conversation should go like this:

Cirrus: Come here!
Me: Where are you?
Cirrus: Here I am!
Me: What does that good birdie want?
Cirrus: Want [insert noun: nut, seed, cherrio, pellet, skritchins]!

Once Cirrus can ask for a specific item and get it, we'll be able to make great progress. Today, she said "What do I want?" once, which shows she's even grasping the use of the personal pronoun. This indicates she can understand the concept. A lot of parrots can't.

Still, there's a problem. Cirrus seems to know I'm trying to train her, and she's trying to avoid learning! For example, she doesn't like pellets very well. She'll never say "Want pellet," at least not if she understands what she's saying. So when she says "What does that birdie want?" and I bring her a pellet and say "Want pellet?", the idea is that she'll get frustrated and say "Want nut!" or "Want seed!" Instead, she's been taking the pellet and throwing it on the ground. Still, she realized she wasn't getting through to me. So she's started taking the pellet and eating it, all while looking at me!

"You can't punish me!" I did the exact same thing to my parents. I know what's going through Cirrus' little birdie brain, because it went through mine.

Even worse, one time when I offered her a seed with a "Want seed?" and she didn't respond, I turned away and left. She called me back again with a "What does that good little birdie want?" I offered her a seed, and she turned her head away, refusing to look at me!

The horse whisperers and baby whisperers make all this stuff seem easy. My neice can train her dog to do all sorts of tricks.

Me? I'm working with the orneriest thing on two legs and two wings.

Sigh.

I was horrified to read that an Ohio lawmaker wants to ban Republicans from adopting children!

This is unconscionable. Some of my friends are Republicans, and I've learned that they have the best interest of their children at heart.

Republicans may be misguided in some cases, but they're not bad people. Yes, there are some Republicans with whom I would not trust a baby parakeet, but to be honest, there are a few Democrats whom I would not trust, either. I can't really say I know any Greens, Libertarians, Communists, or other parties to tell you if they can be trusted with parrots or humans.

Republicans may not make perfect parents, but you have to realize that there are so many children available for adoption! I'm not sure that children of Republicans turn out that much worse. The science I've read seems to indicate that the children will be fine, although they do tend to have problems in science in high school and in college might tend toward alcohol or cocaine abuse. (The previous statement is based on one well-known public example of a child of Republicans). The differences, if they truly exist, are minor compared to the damage of growing up in an orphanage or a succession of foster homes.

There is no basis to the belief that Republicans molest their children at any greater rate than, say, Gays or Lesbians. Fundamentalist Christians do not take in Jewish children to bake into communion bread. Such rumors are simple unfounded and ignorant prejudice.

Please, please put your prejudices behind you. Don't let the culture wars of our country harm our children. By simply questioning prospective adoptive Republican parents about whether they intend to raise their children to be slaughtered for oil, the danger to the children will be minimal and the benefits great.

Don't ban all Republicans from adopting because of the actions of a few!

Note of Conflict of Interest: Nancy is a Republican, so I obviously have some personal stake in this argument. I will vouch for her abilities as a parent and a "bird mom." She's kind and sweet and I love her. By the time I realized she was a Republican, it was too late; she'd already captured my heart.

The shoe might have been on the other foot in Pleasant Hills, but let's face it…I'm "memorable" enough that the poll workers know who I am.

A blogger I respect, Anne of "Anne… straight from the hip" writes:

I don't remember if I was ever on Anne's blogroll. She was one of the first bloggers I discovered back in 2002, when I stumbled upon her "Letters to Rob." I'm not that Rob, but reading those letters was a powerful experience. But when Anne says something, I tend to listen.

Still, what Anne said annoyed me. Memes are fun. I happen to enjoy doing a meme now and then. They help to build community. New bloggers can become noticed through them. I like to post an occasional quiz now and then, too.

On the other hand, everything I've read says that if you want to be taken seriously as a blogger, you shouldn't do memes and quizzes. I want to be taken seriously, but I also want to have fun. If I can post a quiz result that says that were I a superhero, I'd be Spider-Man or I'd fit in best on Babylon 5 where things are always going to hell, you know I'm going to post it!

Thinking about what Anne said, and remembering what I'm trying to do with UnSpace made me realize something. I hope you've noticed that (outside of quick links), any news story I post has more than just a summary of the news story. I try to find a unique angle on the story. Usually, my unique angle is background. I try to explain things (especially science things) that the mainstream articles gloss over or ignore. UnSpace is a different view of the universe; often that view is an examination of the background.

I'm still going to do memes and quizzes, but I'm not going to stop there. From now on, if you see a meme at UnSpace, I've posted it because I have somethig to add. I'm working on a two-part post where I use the quiz to talk about some problems with personality tests. When you read those posts, you'll notice the posts are categorized both as "Blogs and Webs" (my bin for memes and such) and "Science."

If you post an occasional meme or quiz, is there something more you can say than just what the meme or quiz asks of you? Can you come up with a twist that someone might want to read?

I don't know if this will get me on Anne's blogroll. That's not why I'm doing it. But I can hope!

Tonight, near sunset, I went out to get some astronomical photos. Here are some of the images; more will be posted tomorrow and Tuesday.

Mercury at sunset

Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun. As a result, it's never far from the Sun in the sky. The best time to view it is when Mercury is perpendicular to the Earth-Sun line.With a telescope, Mercury would appear to be a half a circle; it exhibits phases just like the moon and Venus. But the camera lens isn't powerful enough to show that much detail. I "pushed" the digital image by adjusting contrast and brightness, but I left the colors alone. The camera had less difficulty picking up Mercury than my eyes did, but my eyes could pick out more color. I took this 2-second exposure photo with my Nikon D50 on a tripod.

Mercury in a darkening sky

In this image, I didn't change brightness or contrast. My eyes could pick up a bit more light than the camera did. I got lucky with these photographs. I guessed at where I might get a decent shot at the horizon. I thought I might be able to get some pictures from McClellan school in Pleasant Hills, but I was almost wrong. The lights around the school and trees made it almost impossible to get a good look at the horizon. These photos were through the lone hole in the trees. 10 degrees either way, and I would have missed these shots.

Here's the second "Friday Fiction" story. Grad students like to party, but can you have a blast without waking up Bob?

Is Anyone Going to Wake Bob?
by Rob Carr
Copyright 2006

The Physics Grad Student Lounge felt party-like, though the only beer was the stale odor in the air from last Friday’s end-of-week bash. Only a few students turned from the large screen they were watching when Dr. Chandrasekhar entered the room.

“Hey, Doc!” said Freddy. “Glad you could join us. Who did you bring?”

“This is Halton. He’s in my freshman physics class, and I thought he’d enjoy seeing this on the UHD screen. Halton managed a faint wave, clearly overwhelmed by the crowd. Looking more like a freshman in high school, Halton was by far the youngest looking person in the room. He wore the standard student jeans and digit-shirt, his with a common Escher-like movie loop replaying every five minutes. His hair was in a typical asymmetric student cut as well. Fifty-five grad students were gathered around the H-net feed – everyone except Bob, who was stretched out asleep on the couch as usual. The couch was old and broken, its red fabric torn in several places and thin in others. Around the room, on top of the light blue paint, were the signatures of past Ph.D. students – a last traditional act when a candidate successfully defends the dissertation.

Dr. Chandrasekhar glanced at the four meter H-net screen. Being only half Indian gave him his unusual height. In Bombay, he was out of place, but here it let him easily see over the students and around the room. Right now, the rightmost of the three feeds was focused on some astronauts working on a giant coil outside Farside Moonbase. The middle segment had talking heads, one of which might have been an AI imagebot. Headline News was in the far panel. From the talking heads, came a voice “The astronauts, cosmonauts, and taikonauts will have to retreat inside the base for safety before the Zero Point Energy project is turned on. Near-universal groans and a few examples of profanity greeted that comment, drowning out the probable imagebot’s attempt to correct the misinformation.

Halton tapped the doctor’s arm. “Um, isn’t the experiment about converting dark matter?”

Freddy turned and said “See? Even the kid knows better! Why don’t they put us on there instead of these idiots?” Freddy’s British accent was a bit exaggerated a minor affectation in someone whose parents had been part of the British Exodus.

“You’d break the camera, Hoyle. They’re stupid, but you’re ugly.” A few laughs greeted that comment, but most of the crowd’s attention turned back to the 4 meter screen on the wall. “Hi, I’m Diana. You’re right. It’s officially the “Dark Matter Converter” but some H-net reporter named it “Zero Point Energy” and the name stuck. Unfortunately.”

Halton avoided looking directly at Diana. She was dressed like a Goth from the H-net History dramas, complete with digital tattoos on her face and piercings that migrated over her body. Her long, flat dark hair would occasionally take on the shape of a snake and move around as if watching the surroundings.

Freddy made his way over to Halton. “So, you know it’s not Zero Point. What else do you know?”

“Umm….” Halton turned to the professor, who shook his head. Halton was on his own. “Umm…the electrogravitic field should rotate twelve dimensional space inside the sphere. Any dark matter would transform into energy, which could be harvested. As the Moon travels in its orbit, more dark matter will enter the region, providing more fuel for conversion.”

Scattered applause greeted Halton’s answer. Halton slumped in relief. “You got a good kid, there, Doc!” said Freddy, who chucked Halton on the shoulder.

“Is anyone going to wake Bob?” asked Dr. Chandrasekhar.

“Nah, we’re leaving him alone,” replied Freddy. “I’ve never seen him awake. Why should I break my streak?”

Rich chimed in with a more useful answer. “We tried earlier, but he said he didn’t care about it.” Rich continued walking across the room.

The Grad Student Lounge was chaotic, but there were attractors: the UHD screens, an antique air hockey table, and of course the food. Wherever grad students get together, there must be food, lacking as much nutrition as is legal. The keg was switched off. Beer was only permitted on Fridays after 3:00.

Dr. Chandrasekhar was one of the few professors welcome in the lounge. Others were permitted, but they tended to be ignored and learned this was the student’s one place to get away. Perhaps it was because he was the youngest and newest professor. He remembered what it was like to be a grad student.

“Who’s Bob?” asked Halton, pointing over at the man stretched out face down on the couch. “Is he a professor?” From the tone in his voice, Halton didn’t think the sleeping man in student jeans and a non-active t-shirt, full bearded and greasy haired looked like a professor.

“No, he’s one of our grad students,” answered Chandrasekhar as he got a flask of Coke and some chips. “He’s earning his fourth Ph.D. here at CMU. We’re honored to have him.”

“He’s a freak.” The heavyset blond grad student sounded like he wanted to spit. “He doesn’t have to teach stupid frosh, either.”

“Josiah, take it easy!” Freddy joined in the conversation. “Bob’s ok. He’s just autistic. I don’t think anyone wants him teaching classes.”

“He’s a freak. All’s he cares about are explosions and doing weird stuff.”

“Explosions are his area of research.” Freddy took a sip of his drink. “He started with his Ph.D. in chemistry, got another degree in Engineering, and then worked for a while for the government. He won’t say what he did, except that it involved making things go ‘boom.’ I don’t know when he got his degree in math.”

Diana spoke from across the room. “The astronauts are back in the base. They’ll be ready soon.” She paused. “I think math was Bob’s first Ph.D., even before chemistry.”

Shaking his head in disgust, Josiah said “He was the guy behind that chair stunt. Freak.”

Halton brightened up. “You mean he’s the guy that reversed the chairs in the lecture hall in the first ten digits of the reciprocal of pi?”

Freddy nodded. “Yeah, that was him. Three chairs backward, a normal chair, one chair backward, a normal chair, four chairs, normal, one chair and so on. It’s a legendary pone¹ that he pulled. Except it was pi, not the reciprocal.”

Chandrasekhar looked at Halton with a puzzled expression, and then turned back to Freddy. “No one knows if he was responsible for the pone, or how it was done. No one heard any power tools, no one saw anything. There were no fingerprints even.”

“He’s still a freak. Sorry Doc, but he is.” Josiah wandered closer to the screen.

Everyone focused on the H-net feed. For the umpteenth time, two talking heads explained to the audience that, should this work, Earth would have unlimited, non-polluting energy. A few more grad students wandered in. Halton looked around and then spoke up.

“So does anyone think this is going to blow up?”

Josiah wasn’t the only one rolling his eyes. “This is why we don’t let freshmen in the grad student lounge. Idiot.”

“Josiah!” Chandrasekhar glared at Josiah. In a lower voice, he started to explain. “Cosmic rays hit the Earth every day that are incredibly powerful. Some of the mass extinctions on Earth are thought to have been caused by supernovas that hit Earth with energetic radiation. All sorts of things are produced…”

“Even quantum black holes!” added Diana.

“We can detect the black holes and strange matter and other exotics produced by this radiation by how they decay. If anything were going to go wrong, it would have happened naturally. Decades ago, they worked out that the odds of something physicists doing destroying the Earth. It turns out it would be orders of magnitude less than the chance of it happening naturally, and we’re still here.”

“Before humans had fusion weapons, the sun fused hydrogen. Before man invented fission bombs, there were naturally occurring nuclear reactors on Earth, over in Olduvai Gorge.” Freddy was a lot more sympathetic than Josiah. ”There’s still stars and planets.”

“Of course, maybe that’s the answer to the Fermi paradox.” Andrei made his way over, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Aliens haven’t come to Earth because they all try for free energy and blow up.”

“Not gonna happen. If it could, we’d already be gone.”

Andrei shook his head. “Not so! This trick requires an arrangement of electrogravidic fields. They don’t occur naturally. We only know how to make them because we have a Theory of Everything.”

“That’s theories. No one’s sure which of the hundreds of theories is correct” Diana’s thesis was on finding ways to test the predictions of the possible Theories of Everything using available technology.

“But still. They all predict electrogravidic waves, and that’s how we can produce them. We make the symmetries work for us. You can’t get electrogravidic waves without deliberate, complex engineering…not even in a black hole.”

Halton spoke up again. “So you think this experiment could blow up?”

“Well, that is why they put the experiment on the far side of the Moon…just in case. You know who we ought to ask? Bob. Bob loves explosions. I bet he’d know.”

“We’re not going to wake Bob up for this, are we?” Freddy looked over in the direction of the couch.

“Don’t have to,” said Josiah. I saw his password. If he’s got something on it, I can get it. He writes everything down. He’s a freak that way.”

“Josiah, I don’t think…” Dr. Chandrasekhar began.

“Don’t worry, Doc. I do it all the time. Bob doesn’t care.”

Josiah sat down at a virtual keyboard, and a portion of the UHD panel formed a window for him. He waved a few commands. “I’m in. Let me do a search on the words 'dark matter.'” Immediately, a list of files appeared.”

“There! Third one down. What’s that?: Andrei pointed to the file he meant.

“Wha…dark matter explosion?” Chandrasekhar looked concerned.

“The index says it’s a simulation of the ZPE experiment. How can that be? What’s that screwball doing? Let me run it.” Josiah waved a command into the interface.

On the screen, a photorealistic drawing of the Dark Matter Converter sphere appeared. Graphics to the side listed sizes and time. At t=0, the sphere turned white. The image panned out, and as it did, the white sphere grew. The Moon disappeared into the white, and then the Earth did. Just a short time later, the Sun was gone. The sphere began to be turn blue as it enveloped Saturn and faded to a dark orangish-red as it passed a labeled “Kupier Belt.“

The image was replaced by a three dimensional spectrum and time graph. The words “Match: Ultra-Short Duration Gamma Ray Burst” appeared below, and a second three dimensional spectrum and time graph moved in and overlaid the first graph. The overlay was perfect.”

“Hey, that’s what I’m working on. That’s the graph for an Ultra-Short Duration Gamma Ray Burst. That’s it exactly.”

The room was quiet for thirty seconds. The group stood there stunned at what they had just witnessed.

“The space agency has announced that they are one minutes from initiating the ZPE experiment.” The voice from the middle panel feed took on an ominous tone.

“The freak figured out we’re going to blow up and didn’t say anything. The freak’s looking forward to it.” Josiah’s voice was almost a whisper. He could calculate it, couldn’t he? Oh God, if anyone could have figured it out, it would be Bob.

The room erupted in chaos. People dove for the virtual keyboards.

“Someone see if you can get mission control online.”

“How? Who here would have an address for mission control.”

“They’re blocked, anyhow. You know they’d put a block on!”

“We’re gonna die?”

“Oh God oh God oh God.”

Josiah’s chair dripped.

Dr. Chandrasekhar turned to Halton, who was trying not to smile as he watched. “Ah, the magician’s assistant. You’re part of what will be a legendary pone. You even got me to play along.” Halton said nothing. “You shouldn’t have known it was one over pi. No one remembers that. That was your only mistake.”

“Doc, what are you talking about?” said Halton calmly. He took a sip from his flask. “I just happened to hear a correct version of the story.”

“Sure.” Chandrasekhar looked back to the panic in front of him and smiled. He knew that if he looked back, he’d see Bob, upright and awake, smiling. For someone so autistic, he sure did like chaos. Of course, he liked explosions, too. Apparently all kinds of explosions….

At least that’s what Chandrasekhar hoped he’d see. To turn around would be to admit to some doubt, and the professor didn’t want to admit there was any other possibility. If this wasn’t a prank, someone should have woken Bob.

Bob would hate to miss an explosion like this.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Note: If you enjoyed this story, you might find this story about GRBs interesting. , as well as
checking out the article "Doomsday Odds Calculated" in the March, 2006 Discover Magazine. One of the focuses of this piece was writing dialogue. I need practice at it, which was one of the goals of this piece. One of the hardest points of this story was trying to "show" rather than "tell." I'd be interested in your thoughts on the dialogue and exposition (both of character and physics). The Dark Matter Converter is technobabble, although I do wonder if there might be a practical use to all this dark matter lying about!

1. Pone: prank, based on the early 21st century online term “pwn.” [back]

The story "Is Anyone Going to Wake Bob?" for Friday Fiction is turning out to be far longer than I anticipated. I think I can get it done today, although I also have to help Nancy run some errands and I've got an appointment I need to go to. I may be glad that we always record Stargate, Stargate Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica. I may need the time.

When I decided to create "Friday Fiction," "Is Anyone Going to Wake Bob" was the obvious story to use. I didn't expect to have two separate science articles show up this week that would help flesh out the story. I'll include the references when I discuss the story.

Well, back to work. I promised the story for today, and despite working on it all week, I might just be publishing it at 2358 hours tonight. We'll see.

I waited to see what other bloggers would have to say about the death of Archbishop Paul Marcinkus. Surely a blog that has time to comment on a bishop of another denomination going in for rehab would find some way to mention the man who saved Pope John Paul II from an assasin's knife?

I guess not. I wonder why?

The video of a Spanish priest attacking Pope John Paul II at the shrine to the Virgin Mary at Fatima in 1982 sticks in my mind. The Pope had only recently resumed travel after the first assasination attempt. Archbishop Marcinkus did a commendable job of blocking the assasin so that he could be taken into custody and treated for his mental illness. This film (and the one of Reagan being shot by Hinkley) are fascinating glimpses into what movie heroics would look like in real life.

Of course, the Archbishop was involved in two major Vatican Bank scandals, the latter resulting in the loss of around a billion dollars and involving the Mafia, murder staged as suicide, and freemasonry. Marcinkus was indicted in the second scandal, but that was quashed; he was never interviewed by any country's police in the second Vatican bank scandal.

Had he lived, Archbishop Marcinkus might have been called as a witness in the trial of four men accused of staging the suicide of Roberto Calvi, the main figure in the second Vatican Bank scandal and a close associate of Marcinkus. The trial will have to go on without the Archbishop's testimony. It's uncertain this would have occurred even had the Archbishop lived: both he and the Vatican were prepared to claim diplomatic immunity had he been called.

I wonder how Mel Gibson would have responded to the phrase "diplomatic immunity."

The other day, I stopped for a few minutes to get some pictures of the Homestead Grays Bridge construction.

Homestead Grays Bridge Side View

Here's a wide view of the Homestead Grays Bridge as it undergoes reconstruction. You can see where the heavy railing was removed and replaced with wire to protect the workers. I have vivid, bad memories of the last time this vital Pittsburgh artery was blocked. It doesn't feel like it was that long ago, but I believe it was in the mid to late 1980s. I remember looking through the road bed into the water below as I drove across before the last repair. Construction will continue until May of 2007. Painting will cause some disruptions after that.

View of the Structure of the Homestead Grays Bridge

This view of the Homestead Grays Bridge gives you a view of the understructure as the bridge crosses the Monongahela. The bridge used to be called the Homestead High-Level Bridge for obvious reasons. The bridge will be painted gray in honor of it's namesake, the old Homestead Grays from the Negro League Baseball.

The bridge is a "Wichert Self-Adjusting Truss" type, and the open diamond panel above each pier is supposed to be the give-away. This angle lets you see the diamond panel in the truss if you look carefully. The bridge appears to have arch elements to it, but the arches do not provide support the way traditional arches do.

View of Construction

I have a weird phobia about heights. Looking down from the bridge deck would be easy for me. To get this picture, though, I had to look up from the walkway beneath the bridge. I was terrified. Normally, I would find a railing or pole to hang onto. Doing so eliminates the fear of looking up. Sitting on a chair would also work. Lying down on the ground to look up isn't too bad, either. Instead, I forced myself to stand there with no support and look up at the bridge to take this picture. I'm good with the camera and took less than 5 seconds to get the photo. I'm not sure how much longer I could have managed. I was shaking afterward.

If you look at the underside of the walkway, you can see the sky! There's safety netting to protect both workers and those passing underneath.

With a "Dine and Donate" coupon, 10% of your next meal at Eat'n Park will go toward Bethlehem Haven.

Yesterday, Nancy and I ate out with her parents at Eat'n Park. We like to eat there Wednesdays because of the wonderful potato soup. The ladies got the Salad Bar, and the men had a cup of soup and the Mushroom and Onion Burger which was incredible.¹ Nancy had a "Shamrock Cookie" for desert and my Mother-in-Law had a slice of pineapple and pistachio almond pudding. We two men didn't have room for desert!

When it came time to pay the bills, we each handed the young lady at the register one of the "Dine and Donate" coupons. 10% of our bill went to Bethlehem Haven.

Bethlehem Haven provides shelter for homeless women. As a paramedic, I have actually gone into the shelter at night and seen first-hand the wonderful job they do. As a volunteer at my church, I've carried supplies to the door and waited outside as the female deacons and elders helped out. They do turn lives around. Bethlehem Haven is a dear organization that I wholeheartedly support, and here's a delicious way you can, too.

The coupon is a standard .doc file that you print out as many times as you want on your printer. They're good through March 10th. Eat'n Park does ask that you don't stand outside and hand out hundreds of coupons to diners. Our local Eat'n Park was happy to confirm over the phone that they took these coupons. I've had to deal with enough Internet scams that I called and asked. If you have any question, feel free to do the same.

1. No, someone with my stomach problems should not eat a Mushroom and Onion Burger, especially not with Pepper Jack Cheese. I'd do it again, knowing full well what the result would be. The burger was that good. [back]

Scientists have discovered why sex with a partner is more satisfying than masturbation.¹

Surprisingly, after orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase in blood prolactin levels is 400 per cent higher in both sexes compared with after orgasm from masturbation (Biological Psychology, vol 71, p 312).

This explains why orgasm from intercourse is more satisfying than masturbation, says Brody.

The prolactin release also accounts for the refractory period most men experience after orgasm. Elevated prolactin levels are associated with erectile difficulties in men. Prolactin (as you might guess from the name) is involved in maintaining the lactation response in nursing females. It may also account for a decrease in libido during breastfeeding.

What exactly causes the prolactin release in intercourse as opposed to masturbation does not appear in the article, which leaves several obvious questions unanswered. I think those questions are obvious enough that I'm not going to ask them. The jokes are obvious as well…make your own.

1. Prediction: This is going to be a very, very popular UnSpace post. If I could fit the words "free" and "scandal" in the title, the hits would crash the server. [back]

Quantum computers don't have to be turned on to produce answers.

Quantum mechanics is strange. We all know that. But this is downright bizarre. Scientists have found a way to get answers out of a non-running quantum computer. By making use of a "quantum effect of a quantum effect" you don't have to worry about having the machine wear out:

"A non-running computer produces fewer errors," says Hosten. That sentiment should have technophobes nodding enthusiastically.

No, I'm not going to explain this to you. Even I don't want to think about this one. I understand it, but if I think about it too long, the concepts slide out of my brain. I'd have more luck trying to hammer jello nails into a board.

This type of computer would create many problems. When you're done with the computer for the evening, do you turn it on? Do you call up tech support and complain "My computer started running? Will the kludgy, jury-rigged, broken and fouled up Microsoft Windows suddenly be the ultimate operating system? MS WIndows doesn't run when it runs, so it ought to run spectactuarly when it doesn't run!

Time to take the Aleve.