The First 18 Years
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My full name is Robert.
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I was named after my mother's brother.
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I was called Bob until third grade.
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Growing up, my parents told me I wanted to be a pediatrician.
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I wonder if that's why I'm not a doctor.
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My first memory is yelling "Come on Maz, get a hit!"
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The date was October 13th, 1960.
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As a 2 year old I was a headbanger. Literally.
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I remember it made bad feelings go away.
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To get me to stop, my parents spanked me.Go fig.
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Repeated concussions can cause depression later in life.
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I've always loved the space program.
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I remember seeing my reflection on my 4th birthday.
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I was thinking "I will never be three years old again. I will keep getting older and die.
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That explains a lot about who I am.
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My Mom was Presbyterian, my Dad Catholic.
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They let me choose.
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I wasn't baptised as a child - and that worried me.
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I could not be punished - I worked hard at that.
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I was first kissed by a girl when I was 5 at her 6th birthday party.
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I was dazed for hours afterward.
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Waiting 10 years for the next kiss was miserable.
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I knew I was different and I had to hide my differences. I liked girls. It wasn't right.
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My first grade teacher taught us "Your right hand is the one you write with."
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I'm left handed.
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In third grade, I started crying in music class when the girl I liked danced with someone else.
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I got beat up a lot in grade school.
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The principal told me that if someone beat me up, I was supposed to not defend myself, or I would be punished.
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As a kid, I thought adults were stupid.
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Now, I think most adults are stupid.
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When I broke someone's nose after school, the beatings stopped.
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The tormenting didn't stop.
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The parental units were not happy when I switched from Bob to Rob.
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I never stopped being Bob to them.
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I suspect Rob Petrie probably had something to do with the name change.
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In grade school, I would worry about what self-awareness was and how I knew I was me.
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In 3rd grade, my parents insisted I quit taking science books out of the library.
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That was how I discovered science fiction.
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I had a crush on Joan of Arc in third grade.
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I wanted to travel back in time like on "The Time Tunnel" and rescue her.
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My 4th grade science teacher had a home-made open mercury barometer in the class.
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We used to play with the mercury.
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Playing with mercury isn't good for you.
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My favorite chemical was cobalt chloride - pink when damp, blue when dry.
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In 4th grade, my father built and launched a bunch of rockets for my class.
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I still think of my father when I smell the exhaust from model rocket motors.
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I'd began breeding guppies in 3rd grade.
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Human reproduction surprised me. I never occurred to me that humans reproduced.
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My 5th grade science teacher hated me.
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I had a crush on her.
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I met my best male friend Floyd the first day of 6th grade in English class.
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I hit puberty in 6th grade.
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Having been girl crazy for most of my life, nothing changed mentally.
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I suggested "Euthanasia" for a topic in 7th grade social science.
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The teacher thought it was a term for the Viet Nam war. (Think about it….)
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My mother had her first stroke October 13th, 1971.
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My mother's stroke was the last day of my childhood.
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I'm probably trying to make up for that as an adult.
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It was the morning of the first night game of a World Series - my parents had tickets.
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My two favorite teams were playing: The Pirates and the Orioles.
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I liked the Orioles because Joan of Arc was the "Maid of Orleans."
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I was really bad at geography.
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My two semesters of home economics (both cooking, by some mistake) enabled me to cook and keep house.
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Mercy Hospital's gift shop had Strawberry Phosphates - I loved them!
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In 8th grade, I would try to call up girls for a date.
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I couldn't dial the last number. We're talking abject fear with pouring sweat.
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In 9th grade, the doctor ordered me to not run in gym.
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I joined the Presbyterian church because my Mom was more fragile.
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I got my first real kiss and first girlfriend at church camp after 9th grade.
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I'm still friends with her.
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That was the summer I went from being shy to friendly.
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I never keep a diary or have a camera at the most interesting points in my life.
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In 10th grade home room, someone teased me about going for an indoor track physical, so I did.
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The first day of indoor track almost killed me from asthma.
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I had to crawl to the locker room.
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I stuck with it.
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My distance in high school was the 220 yard dash.
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I thought I might want to be a minister.
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My parents and uncle called the minister down to have an "intervention."
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I wish I had been nicer to all my girlfriends.
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I can be a jerk, especially when getting dumped.
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I don't know how to fall out of love.
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I don't think I can.
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It might be why I'm crazy.
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It might be the best thing about me.
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I could only marry someone I loved more than anyone else as a result.
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I went to the prom 3 times.
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Everyone in my science class went to the Saturday science lecture to meet girls.
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I went to hear a lecture on science.
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I met Nancy there, over a discussion about tiny florescent tracing spheres in dynamite.
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I asked her out and she turned me down.
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At the last lecture, we thought we'd never see each other again.
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My hand bumped up against hers. I wouldn't move. She wouldn't move.
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We held hands.
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I was the only one from my class to pick up anyone.
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We went to my senior prom.
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I asked her to marry me.
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She said yes.
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She didn't think I was serious - she thought I was sweet.
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She's the love of my life.







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